It's dark
can't even see what I'm writing
but i need to and I am
it's hot inside at night
no breeze tonight
the devils hoarse vile breath
rains upon me
still, very fucking still
on the deckchair
glass of cold water
may well be full of vodka
drown me
this frame
does nobody good
i often hide it
something that was so good
feels like a rotten egg
laid by some arc angel turned evil
wings once crispy white
tar sticky black
cracked it lays in the sink
draining slow
smell hangs
about the only thing
that remains tangible

the shell
2 pieces pearly white
one on either side
the dark abyss

i'd like to believe
of free range type
advertised wit love and care
not for me not in my drain
i just know how to hold on
forever probably too
I give in to everything for you
and yet i feel like
the very hands that hold you
are digging into your neck
a mass produced hay fed egg
no feelings just autonomous
stamped with ink
expired?

Could I fix you with tape
or glue?
We'll find another yolk
or leave it empty
I don't want to pretend
the chick will never hatch like that
it doesn't have to

there's no one to speak to
because i'm embarrassed
to admit that i'm here
alone on my terrace
wanting to waste the night
as bad as it is
in no ones company but yours
yet you push and push
and im on the last stone
one more and the ravine
will feast on my heap of mangled bone
vermin will trample and party
larvae and maggots will nest
and turn to flies and bugs on my chest

I doesn't have to be
we could become what we were
could we
yes
darlink you really are the best
at hurting me and loving me