Imagine
the sun is setting
birds chirping
your hair rustling
your there looking
the sea slick
colours of every tint and hue
your spine chills
jaw drops
you see hands waving
not welcoming
distressed
in danger
blood boils
your heart pumps fast
adrenaline smacks you
you look, frantic
able to do nothing at all
the horizon is there
everyday the same sunset
in the rain you search too
never seems the same
was it even true...

It's dark
can't even see what I'm writing
but i need to and I am
it's hot inside at night
no breeze tonight
the devils hoarse vile breath
rains upon me
still, very fucking still
on the deckchair
glass of cold water
may well be full of vodka
drown me
this frame
does nobody good
i often hide it
something that was so good
feels like a rotten egg
laid by some arc angel turned evil
wings once crispy white
tar sticky black
cracked it lays in the sink
draining slow
smell hangs
about the only thing
that remains tangible

the shell
2 pieces pearly white
one on either side
the dark abyss

i'd like to believe
of free range type
advertised wit love and care
not for me not in my drain
i just know how to hold on
forever probably too
I give in to everything for you
and yet i feel like
the very hands that hold you
are digging into your neck
a mass produced hay fed egg
no feelings just autonomous
stamped with ink
expired?

Could I fix you with tape
or glue?
We'll find another yolk
or leave it empty
I don't want to pretend
the chick will never hatch like that
it doesn't have to

there's no one to speak to
because i'm embarrassed
to admit that i'm here
alone on my terrace
wanting to waste the night
as bad as it is
in no ones company but yours
yet you push and push
and im on the last stone
one more and the ravine
will feast on my heap of mangled bone
vermin will trample and party
larvae and maggots will nest
and turn to flies and bugs on my chest

I doesn't have to be
we could become what we were
could we
yes
darlink you really are the best
at hurting me and loving me

On the roof Lija
people I care about
around me
its dark
a glow of red erupts
streams launch
glitter golden falls gently
we all look
relaxed in company
dots of fire litter
dry the August grass
stars and hearts
i believe Tom
I believe
never doubt
never will
always been there
always will
finale grand
fireworks fill the air
smoke flows
like a stream to the horizon
a Voyage boun voyage
goodnight friends
that's life alive.

24 as old as one less than me
smile on your face genuinely happy
da you anticipate this all year long
in winter raining outside do you
look above the T.v. through the window
past the city grey and land here
next to us and your family
talking next to the pool as you paddle
life so easy, is it for you
we all bruise
how do you express yours
sometimes I write or shout
take it out in some sport
spray it on a wall or canvas
is it easier to forget
where’s your pride
what’s your brain child
I love to write
would you understand if I ask
if together in the evening we watch
the red lava molten slowly flowing
would you bask at natures might
or are you looking at the red line at night
what’s going on in your mind a mystery
you took my hand this morning gentle
and you take my heart every time I look
I think we all want to be a bit more like you
and you might want to be more like me
I can rest your mind assured
life is hard either way
what memories do you hold dear
I ask in eagerness and true
we are similar in trust blind
are people always good to you
or do they stare
do you notice the cruelness around you
or is life simply beautiful
I would cry a million tears for every one of those years
Although not a penny would change
im sure its tougher on your brother and sister
such a treasure as you
a diamond
do they feel semi-precious next to you
I apologise I forgot you name
as your parents get older
whats going to happen
would you live without them
how would you take the loss
how would it come across
shed tears of sorrow
but tomorrow the day after
would you shed again
mourn them
would al Yag be part of your memories
of happy times in the sun
would you return without them
would you want to return
sorry for the burden I imply
carry on live life smile
and ill smile back
not jealous, cruel or curious
just happy
a little like you..

Symmetrical parallel lines
running across the once upon a time tree
bleached churned pressed
can’t help me I
like an addict with needle and skag in hand
look over your shoulder
no one looking turn the corner
into some dis-used alley
or behind the green skip smelling shit
fuck it worth it
push him over
wait search his pockets
take the golden locket for the next hit
better walk further on
I grab the pen
and my vein the grey lines
I write ontop of
feels like a shotgun point blank
the ricochet hurts my foot
I grab and rub for relief
as the scarlet matter
burns my eyes unable to concentrate
a draft blows as if
through my head
putting my hand through my hair
warm pudding I feel as I scratch
begins to ache my stomach
skipped lunch

beach towels hanging to dry
represent us like flags of nations
placed randomly on the steel green fence
Mother Stripy colourful and full of love
cool blue but still hearts come through my brother
Tulips show where your from
randomly arranged yet always a smile to his face
relaxed with head set squarely on his head dad
Bright pink kid sister need I explain
was once a toad but now kissed by life blossoming
I joke
and me random arches of blue haphazard shades at different layers
we are all different yet all the same
all towels hanging to dry.

the chequered pinkish red and white
between us all close
many sauces for combinations of taste
all smiles
brother, father, mother, sister and i
we may not realize
but we will carry these images
through out our journey in life
and through this we’ll be able
to tell a pretty story
father always willing to cook
if his head’s not in a book
mother with the broom
and shopping cap on
kim disappears when
the table needs a clear
my brother and I
pester championship
amongst other things
but dad knows well
and so do we
when he tells of how it used to be
in Switzerland in the farm
with Opa and Oma
from frightening lightning
rolling down hills
to adventures and hours
of badminton in the barn
with Huib or Andre
or one of the many others
it doesn’t matter where you are
near or far from home
so long your together
thank you.